I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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