I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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