We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
