We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize