Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is wine microwaveable?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize