I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
dude. I can hear the air.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
