When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize