I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
