I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
