well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
