That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
