God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
