I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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