He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
