This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
