It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
