she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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