i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
