Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
