pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
