Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
