So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize