Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
