There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
