Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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