Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize