WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
