I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
