I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
