Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
