careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I want her autograph on my taint
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
