You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
