How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
