NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
