hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
