I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize