I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Houston, we have a blender
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
