Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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