your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
