i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
