This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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