Got a toothbrush?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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