her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
