Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
