What a fucking waste of an outfit
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
