Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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