First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
