Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
