They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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