and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My ass is underappreciated
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize