at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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