oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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