My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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