Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
