literally had 100 drinks last night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
