Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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