I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
