just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
